by 
“I never knew he played for the Knicks! Growing up, I thought I could only see his beautiful face on Full House. I didn’t know I could turn on Sportscenter too!”
This was the statement that thirty-two year old Kendra Hawkins made about John Stamos at her annual company picnic. While this information came as a pleasant surprise to her female coworkers, her male companions were skeptical.
“Immediately I thought something was wrong,” says a male colleague. “I’m not a Knicks fan, but I couldn’t imagine John Stamos playing for them… unless maybe The Beach Boys became owners.”
Later on in the day, after claiming that John Stamos was on the 1994 All Star Team, had won the NBA Sixth Man Award in 1997, and was African American, her manager ended the confusion.
“I think you’re talking about John Starks.”
It was true. While trying to look up fun facts about the timeless heartthrob John Stamos, Kendra mistakenly stumbled upon the Wikipedia page of former NBA bad boy John Starks. The humiliation of this simple mistake ruined the rest of her picnic.
“Hey Kendra, who do you think John Stamos hated more? Kimmy Gibbler or Reggie Miller?”
“You know Kendra, every boy in New York had a poster of John Stamos growing up. It was that one where he was dunking over Horrace Grant and Michael Jordan.”
“Kendra, do you think if Stamos hadn’t focused all of his energy on music, the Knicks could have won a championship in the nineties?”
Statements like these caused Kendra to go home early and call in sick the next day. She could not be reached for comment.
